Cheers to you, summertime moms!

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Cheers to you summertime moms!

We are in the last full week of school here, and I swear I’m about to explode. Suddenly there is a talent show, orchestra concert, family potluck, field trip, scheduled for every single day. My schedule is about to burst, and I’m starting to wonder when I will make it to the grocery store to stock up on the snacks for the older boys' finals week. To say I’m ready for the school year to finish up is an understatement. I am ready to be a summertime mom and not a school year mom. I am looking forward to not going through folders, silently yelling at the people who cut in line in the carpool lane, sending snacks, and catching high schoolers up at 2 am finishing projects.

For summer, I’m looking forward to having no alarm clocks dictating where we have to be. I’m excitedly planning family vacations knowing we will make memories to last a lifetime. I’m secretly thinking how handy it will be to have big boys home that can help me do things (you know, like move furniture). I loved summer as a kid, and I hope my kiddos enjoy those lazy days as much as I did.

So I’m looking forward to that idyllic summer just like all my other mom friends. Except, we sort of aren’t looking forward to ALL of summer vacation. Because as much as we love the summer, there is a dark side. Don’t get me wrong. So many moms truly love and enjoy their kiddos, but we all have a boiling point, and some summer time things can make us ready to send them back to school.
After inquiring with my friends, I discovered I’m not alone. The summertime moms have a lot to commiserate about!

Here are the things that drive us nuts during the summer:

20 reasons you might be a summertime mom.

You may want to air these grievances:

1. The overcrowded parks, zoos, and museums. Guess what? We all got the memo on the $1 movie showing or the free magic show. Good luck finding parking, let alone a seat.

2. The CONSTANT fighting. “Johnny hit me!” “She hit me first”. Welcome to your new job as head referee.

3. The CONSTANT eating and wondering when the next snack or meal is coming. Forget cutting organic apple slices, at the end of the day we are happy to shove the chips their way.

4. No alone time. As my friend said, “Zip.Zero.Nada”. Gone are those peaceful mornings of sipping coffee or watching tv after they’ve gone to bed on a school night.

5. “Can I have this? What about that? Why does she get one?”. The kids know. They are so in tune with fairness. How are they suddenly this detail oriented?

6. Can I have a snack? How many snacks are those schools giving them? They seem to have developed an insatiable appetite. See #3 above.

7. “I’m bored!”. Maybe the most used summer time phrase? My friend assures me that if you assign a chore to them every time they utter this sentence that they will stop saying it. I may take her up on this experiment.

8. Juggling electronic time. Okay, I’ll be the first to admit it. We’ve always referred to the tv and games as “the paralyzer”. It’s like magic. Suddenly they aren’t hungry or bored or needing my undivided attention. But how much is too much? The American Academy of Pediatricians recommend this, but what if it’s an educational app? Also, my husband seems to want to have an opinion on this. Our views differ. Shocker there I know.

9. All the neighbor kids congregating at your house. And eating all the food in said house. Suddenly 3 kids have become 10. Some you know, some you don’t? Who are these kids? Where are their parents? Is the mom rocking herself back in forth in the pantry while shoving in chocolate chips as fast as she can?

10. Running, running, running. Going from one activity to another. Isn’t this “vacation”? Could someone explain how a “day camp” is only 2 hours long? Based on the price alone, it should be at least 10 hours.

11. Sunscreen. Thank goodness for that new spray kind. I swear it used to take me 1 hour alone to try and get 4 boys slathered up before hitting the pool when they were young. Don’t forget that wonderful stinging sensation when it gets in your eyes or that nasty taste in your mouth. And the bottle will surely burst in your pool bag at least once this summer.

12. Becoming a pack mule. How is it I have 4 boys with 2 hands each and I’m the only one carrying everything? Somehow I have the beach bag, all the pool floats, the goggles, and the snacks and they are going hands-free? Not to mention you could pack the whole house and still manage to forget that one crazy thing that will result in a HUGE meltdown. Because mom, everyone needs to bring a Lego spiderman, straws and a stuffed alligator to the pool.

13. You no longer have control of the tv. It doesn’t matter that you have 3 in your house. Just let it go. That’s what Hulu is for. Enjoy binge watching when the weather turns cold again.

14. Punishments. Suddenly giving a child a punishment seems more like a punishment for mom. A “no technology” punishment suddenly means more of “I’m bored, I’m hungry, why can’t we do something?”. Also, nothing makes a child want to argue with a sibling more than seeing said sibling enjoying their electronic device. Or the insistence that watching the sibling play is not the same as them playing the game.

15. A messy house. It’s like shoveling snow in a blizzard. Just take deep breaths. The snow will eventually pass and once they are back in school you can put things where they belong. Those special places that only you seem to know about.

16.The grocery bill. I love it when the cashier tells me I’ve gotten a lot and at only just over $100. Do they not realize this is only for a day and a half? Do they not see those 4 boys salivating in line with me? The ones that can’t seem to even make it to the car without busting into something?

17. Knowing we are going to fall short. Yep, it’s true. No matter how we try, or how awesome we are at rocking this mom profession, we are still going to fall short of society’s standards. Based on what exactly? Good news guys, there is no “Pinterest Mom Of The Year Award”. It’s okay. Some days knowing your kiddos are fed and healthy in bed- that’s a win.

18. Dishes. Remember all that food they were consuming? It’s resulted in a sink full of dishes. Plates with baked on cheese and drink glasses left in the playroom to rival their last science fair project. Good luck with that one.

19. The laundry! The grass stained shorts and all the wet towels. The ones left behind in the beach bag smelling musty. The sand. All that sand. What trip to the beach isn’t complete without 2 inches of sand on your laundry room floor? The kind that no matter how much you sweep- it still lingers!

20. And lastly, the sound of silence. On the first day of school, when suddenly it’s just you. You’re giddy with excitement. What will I do? You’ll feel nostalgic about the summer and think of the things you did do, and maybe things you should have done. Then you’ll sigh to yourself and say, “I’m bored. And hungry”.

So when Wente Wines told me to “Toast the ones you love”, I thought of all of you. My fellow summer time moms. The ones that after a long day I want to sit on our concrete driveway and drink a glass of wine with. The ladies that I know will feel my pain over the sand I can’t get out of my shoes. The ones that know a little whine with a glass of Chardonnay goes a long way.

I’ve had my summertime mom friends in every place we’ve lived. From Kansas, to Texas, to Oregon and back again, these are the ladies that stand by you. The other moms in the trenches, doing the best they can and trying to do it all without getting sun burnt or losing their minds to heat stroke. We celebrate each other successes and laugh and cry together. We’ve done it while sitting at the dinner table, on the back porch, or next to the mailbox.

These are the moms I raise my glass to. If you don’t have friends like this, find some. Meet your neighbors, join some local mom groups, or just talk to the lady next to you at story time. Parenting doesn’t come with a manual, but these ladies are who will help you figure out the guidelines.